Ross O’Carroll-Kelly was the captain of the Castlerock College team that won the Leinster Schools Senior Cup in 1999. It’s rare that a day goes by when he doesn’t mention it. A renowned socialite, libertine and seducer, who has been described as Ireland’s most eligible married man and the greatest Irish player never to actually make it in the game, he is managing director of his father’s confidential-document disposal business, Shred Focking Everything. (All media enquiries to Paul Howard, the almost-as-notable author.)

The 27th and final book of his exploits - Don't Look Back in Ongar is out now, thanks to Ross (and Paul) for all the laughs over the years.